1 00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:17,817 Good. 2 00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,769 Darrin? 3 00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:29,252 Charlie. Charlie Harper! It's great to see you, old buddy! 4 00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:32,611 Darrin, if you don't stop poking around, you won't even make dessert. 5 00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:35,459 -I'll be a minute. -That's what you said 30 minutes ago. 6 00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:39,291 Something tells me you're not too anxious to see your old buddy. 7 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,377 Not anxious? Don't be ridiculous. 8 00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:43,730 He happens to be one of the greatest guys alive. 9 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:45,896 He'd be perfect except for one minor thing. 10 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,089 What's that? 11 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:50,053 He's rich, bright, intelligent, charming and witty. 12 00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:52,569 He excels at everything. Anything anybody can do... 13 00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:55,214 ...Charlie can do better. Outside that, a sweetheart. 14 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:56,978 Sounds horrible. I'll hate him. 15 00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:59,489 Impossible. Nobody can hate Charlie. 16 00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:01,770 Not even me. Don't think I haven't tried. 17 00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:05,689 Well, I bet he didn't graduate cum laude the way you did. 18 00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:08,251 -No, he didn't. -There, you see? 19 00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:10,894 He did better. He graduated summa cum laude. 20 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,613 And he was three years younger. 21 00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:15,379 Well.... 22 00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:18,657 Hold it. You were elected student body president, weren't you? 23 00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:21,249 Only after Charlie resigned so he could devote time... 24 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,371 ...to being the most popular man on campus. 25 00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:27,414 You can't tell me Charlie was any more popular with the girls than you were. 26 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,975 Let's put it this way. I beat them off with a stick. 27 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,932 Charlie had his own woodpile. 28 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,290 -What's his wife like? -I never met her. 29 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:38,288 But if she's married to Charlie, she's got to be gorgeous. 30 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:41,537 -There they are. I'll get it. -Darrin. 31 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:43,378 I think your legs are cute... 32 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:47,016 ...but I imagine the Harpers would prefer to see you in pants. 33 00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:50,530 See? He even beat me getting dressed. 34 00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:49,689 How can people say they don't know what angels look like? 35 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,695 She's beautiful, Dar. Really something special. 36 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:56,609 Thank you, Charlie. And you're right. Tabatha's very special. 37 00:02:56,820 --> 00:03:00,210 -Do you have any children? -You'll be sorry you asked. 38 00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:02,297 There they are. 39 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,138 -Triplets. -Triplets? 40 00:03:04,340 --> 00:03:05,614 It figures. 41 00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:09,972 Yes. Two girls and a boy. It's a little hard to tell because of the hair. 42 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:13,729 As Charlie is fond of saying, "lf you're going to do something, do it right." 43 00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:16,613 -They're darling, aren't they, Darrin? -They certainly are. 44 00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:19,937 Instead of cigars, I passed out pipes. 45 00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:22,938 Why don't we all go down to dinner? 46 00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:37,330 You know, Dar, I really like your place. It has a good, solid home feel. 47 00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:40,179 -Who was your decorator? -You're looking at her. 48 00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:44,931 I envy you. I really botched our winter place in Acapulco something fierce. 49 00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:48,334 Sam's got a real flair. She can do wonders with anything. 50 00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:52,533 She and Charlie should get together. He did a fabulous job on our castle. 51 00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,735 You have a castle? 52 00:03:57,940 --> 00:04:00,977 I fell in love with it the minute I saw the moat. 53 00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:03,410 If Charlie hadn't bought it, I would have died. 54 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:06,657 It's just a small one in Majorca. 55 00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:10,375 Say, Dar, I hear you're going great guns at McMann and Tate. 56 00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,810 Yes. He's head of their creative advertising. 57 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,580 Hey, that's great. Congratulations, Dar. 58 00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:18,817 Well, thank you. Some of my accounts have come off pretty well. 59 00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:22,057 -Caldwell Soup, for instance. -Upped the sales 27 percent. 60 00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:25,969 How marvellous. Darling, don't you have something to do... 61 00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,011 -...with advertising? -In a small way. 62 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:31,293 Well, I thought you bought two big agencies last summer. 63 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,728 Just one. 64 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,818 Was that 20th Century Limited, or am I thinking of the train? 65 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,694 You're close, honey. It was Brown and Smithers Unlimited. 66 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:42,172 You bought Brown and Smithers? 67 00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:43,814 Just for tax purposes. 68 00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:48,059 I really don't know anything about the advertising game itself. 69 00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:52,409 Well, shall we all go into the living room, where it's more comfortable? 70 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,771 I'll get the liqueur and be right in. Okay? 71 00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:01,448 "l fell in love with it the minute I saw the moat." I'm not impressed. 72 00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:05,858 I'm beginning to believe the only thing they don't own is this block. 73 00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:13,650 Mother! What are you doing here? 74 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,532 Being sick. 75 00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:17,253 You're eating like you feel fine. 76 00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:21,533 Well, you know what they say: "Starve a success, feed a frustration." 77 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:23,253 No one I know says that. 78 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,018 Have you any idea how you sounded... 79 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:28,735 ...while you were trying to puff up Duncan's meagre triumphs? 80 00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:31,215 It's "Darrin," and you know it. 81 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:34,014 When are you going to admit he's not good enough for you? 82 00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:38,972 The day after never. Darrin's doing just fine. And I love him, remember? 83 00:05:39,780 --> 00:05:41,850 Well, if you had to marry a mortal... 84 00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:44,733 ...why couldn't you have chosen a superior one? 85 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,168 Like Charlie. 86 00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:50,895 I don't have to stand here and listen to you applaud Charlie's accomplishments. 87 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,170 I can go out there and listen to Daphne do it. 88 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:55,894 Oh, Samantha, face it. 89 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:59,058 She's not bragging. She's simply stating fact. 90 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:04,536 Mother? I hope you get fat. 91 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:13,010 I hope you didn't have anything to do with that meat-company jingle. 92 00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:15,575 You know, "Our tongue speaks for itself." 93 00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:17,850 Not guilty. 94 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,132 Charlie and I had a bet coming here. 95 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:24,298 He said that you would remember me, and I said that you wouldn't. 96 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,536 And you lose, right, Dar? 97 00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:29,334 Well, let me think. 98 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,849 See there? I was right. 99 00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:35,336 I was the freshman campus queen your entire senior year of college. 100 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:39,372 Yes, yes, of course. How are you? 101 00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:40,933 Fine, thank you. 102 00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:44,450 And I must say that your husband was the only red-blooded male-- 103 00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:46,969 Thank you. --that didn't chase me around the quad. 104 00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:49,535 I just didn't want to get trampled in the rush. 105 00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,696 He also has a bad knee. 106 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:54,817 Kids, I have a wonderful idea. 107 00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:56,738 We've opened our house at Oyster Bay... 108 00:06:56,940 --> 00:06:59,977 ...and we're having friends out for the weekend. You're coming too. 109 00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:04,617 We'll have a ball. Tennis, swimming, golf. The whole bit. 110 00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:06,899 -Well, I-- -And, Dar... 111 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,091 ...you and I are going to talk some business. 112 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:12,576 Important business involving you. Now, what do you say? 113 00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,980 Well, it sounds great, Charlie. Doesn't it, honey? 114 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:18,330 Can we get a babysitter on such short notice? 115 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,572 Well, I'm sure that Mother is available. 116 00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:26,056 Well, if she isn't, I suppose I could always get Aunt Clara to pop in. 117 00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:28,296 Oh, that's great. Then it's all settled. 118 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,934 Go upstairs and throw some things into a suitcase. 119 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,529 The limousine's right out front, we can go together. 120 00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:37,531 -Sweetheart, I'm proud of you. -Why? 121 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:41,050 Because I agreed to let your mother babysit? That does take courage. 122 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,730 So does letting yourself in for a one-upmanship weekend like this. 123 00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:47,295 It's a shade over, above and beyond the call of duty. 124 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,889 Oh, we'll have fun. Anyway, I told you I like Charlie. 125 00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,818 It's his wife who keeps pouring it on. 126 00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,772 You really didn't remember Daphne? 127 00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:55,777 Not a bit. It's weird. 128 00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:58,858 You don't suppose she was a bit of a snob even then, do you? 129 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,812 Castle, indeed. 130 00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:04,137 Why shouldn't she have a castle? Charlie can afford it. 131 00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:06,490 I wish I could give you one. 132 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,976 Don't. They're drafty. 133 00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:26,777 You have a wicked slam, senator. 134 00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:32,170 Yes, my dear, but I wish my wife had your form. 135 00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:38,770 When the countess told me we missed you in Monte Carlo, I was just sick. 136 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:43,815 Yes. Excuse me, Mrs. Harper, but I see Samantha's ready for me again. 137 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,212 Dar, I'm afraid you've got me beaten. 138 00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,854 Not yet, Charlie. Not if you get a bull's-eye. 139 00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:57,813 Fat chance. I haven't gotten one in three weeks. 140 00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:00,978 Well, here goes. 141 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,452 Would you take a look at that. 142 00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:06,890 Do I have to? 143 00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:14,932 I'm afraid Louis isn't concentrating on the game, but she's such a lovely girl. 144 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,891 Yes, really lovely. 145 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,455 You know, our husbands went to college together... 146 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:26,211 ...and I'm just trying to get Charlie to give him a decent job. 147 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,213 Oh, hi, sweetheart. Having fun? 148 00:09:38,420 --> 00:09:42,493 First Charlie beat me at eight ball, then at darts, now across the pool. 149 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,816 -Sorry. -Yeah. 150 00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,574 Oh, wonderful, Samantha. You've set them again. 151 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:56,214 Sorry, sweetheart. 152 00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:58,889 Oh, my, Samantha. What a stunning ring. 153 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,295 Oh, thank you. Darrin picked it out himself. 154 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,050 It's so stark and modern. 155 00:10:04,260 --> 00:10:06,330 I tried to tell Charlie that the trend... 156 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:09,498 ...was away from the big diamonds, but he's so old-fashioned. 157 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,612 And of course he can afford to be. 158 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:17,370 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I don't know how I could have been so clumsy. 159 00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:20,014 Maybe the cards caught on your ring. 160 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:33,770 Senator, I tell you, Darrin made a shot today that was-- 161 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:36,289 What? Well, "incredible" is the only word for it. 162 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:39,537 -Now, Charlie-- -No false modesty, Dar. It was fantastic. 163 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,571 See, he's already found another word. 164 00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:43,293 Well, who won? 165 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,173 Charlie. By 11 strokes. 166 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:49,531 -Let's you and I talk business. -Okay. Excuse us. 167 00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:52,254 Tell me, Darrin, are you happy at McMann and Tate? 168 00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:54,769 -Very happy. -Oh, that's too bad. 169 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,698 It would be easier to quit miserable. 170 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,379 Why should I wanna quit? 171 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:04,337 You can't stay there and be president of Brown and Smithers Unlimited too. 172 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,337 You're not serious? 173 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,258 You can write your own ticket, Dar. 174 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,928 That's how serious I am. 175 00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:13,091 Well, Charlie, I don't know what to say. 176 00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,779 The word is "yes." 177 00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:18,052 You'll spend six months in New York and six months on the Continent. 178 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,058 That's to service our offices in Paris, London and Rome. 179 00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:23,820 Samantha will love it. 180 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:28,332 -Oh, I don't think so, Charlie. -Well, why not? 181 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:33,853 First of all, it would mean uprooting the family and schools for Tabatha. 182 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:38,329 Besides, I couldn't leave Larry Tate after all he's done for me. 183 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:41,054 Anyway, I'm simply not ready for a presidency. 184 00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:43,296 You're too modest, Dar. You always have been. 185 00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:47,657 -Can you suggest anybody else? -Why not yourself? 186 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:51,170 Hey, come on. I'm much too smart to hire anybody like me. 187 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,012 Come in. 188 00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:04,053 -Oh, hi, Daphne. -Hi, Samantha. 189 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:07,570 You packed in a hurry. I was wondering if you want to borrow anything. 190 00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:10,169 Clothes or jewellery, anything like that? 191 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,213 Oh, that's very sweet. But I think I brought enough. 192 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,172 Okay. 193 00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:18,258 Well, the boys really are enjoying themselves, aren't they? 194 00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:20,018 Darrin's having a ball. 195 00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,780 That's lovely. You know, Charlie and I love Darrin... 196 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:25,016 ...and we just wish we could help him. 197 00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,088 Help him what? 198 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:31,813 Oh, to realize his full potential and to find his proper place in the world. 199 00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:35,808 Oh, Daphne. I think Darrin's very happy with his place... 200 00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:38,739 ...his home, his family, his job at McMann and Tate. 201 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:43,375 I know, but Charlie could make him vice president in his agency. 202 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,855 But then again, Darrin probably wouldn't accept it. 203 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,492 He likes to do things on his own. 204 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,258 I'm sure when the time is right... 205 00:12:50,460 --> 00:12:52,655 ...he will be offered a vice presidency. 206 00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:55,932 Oh, how wonderful. How wonderful. 207 00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,779 You're sure there's nothing I can lend you this evening? 208 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,459 It's gonna be very dressy. 209 00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:03,254 Maybe some jewellery or-- 210 00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:06,577 Well, let me look. 211 00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:26,376 Oh, Samantha. How lovely. 212 00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:30,095 It's amazing what they can do with this costume stuff these days, isn't it? 213 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,291 What makes you think they're not real? 214 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:36,209 You force me to be cruel. On Darrin's salary, they have to be zircons. 215 00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:41,299 Oh, I mean, they're beautiful zircons. They're the prettiest I've ever seen. 216 00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:48,056 Daphne, there is one thing I could use. 217 00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:52,298 -A hanger. -Oh, I'll have Hilda bring you some. 218 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:55,011 I really should hang this thing up. 219 00:13:56,500 --> 00:14:02,291 Samantha, that is the most gorgeous, breathtakingly beau-- 220 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,016 Daphne? Is anything wrong? 221 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:10,736 Yes, my darling daughter. There's plenty wrong. 222 00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:14,853 -Mother! -Samantha. I'm appalled. 223 00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:17,858 Oh, Mother, what is it now, and who's staying with Tabatha? 224 00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:20,858 I suspected you needed keeping an eye on more than Tabatha. 225 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:26,134 Hagatha is with her. I'm watching over the real baby of the family. 226 00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:30,015 Oh, Samantha. Boasting about Durwood is one thing... 227 00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:32,450 ...but conjuring up a precious item like that... 228 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:35,811 ...it's the biggest misuse of witchcraft I have ever seen. 229 00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:39,490 Well. Since when have you been so averse to my using witchcraft? 230 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:44,376 The second you started using it to make Dalton look good. 231 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:47,936 -Daphne had it coming. -I couldn't care less about her. 232 00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,178 It's you I'm concerned about. 233 00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:53,690 You're only fooling yourself, Samantha, and the mink proves it. 234 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:58,132 You had to zap it up for yourself because what's-his-name... 235 00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:00,649 ...isn't capable of getting you one. 236 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:02,418 Don't you see that? 237 00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:05,737 Well, I don't need a mink. 238 00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:09,137 I suppose I shouldn't have done it. It's apt to get me into trouble. 239 00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,217 From the lustful look in her eye... 240 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:15,129 ...I would say that is in the nature of an understatement. 241 00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:19,819 If you just unfreeze her and pop out, I'll see if I can remedy the situation. 242 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:24,332 Well, easier said, darling. Cheerio. 243 00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:28,294 --beautiful, fabulous coat that I have ever seen. 244 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:30,570 -May l? -Oh, yes. 245 00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:32,850 Did Darrin give it to you? Where did he get it? 246 00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:34,778 From a place going out of business. 247 00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,652 With merchandise like this? 248 00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:39,169 Well, you see, Daphne, that was the problem. 249 00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:42,611 They took too much trouble. Raised the mink themselves. 250 00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:48,178 And only used the pelts from identical twins from each litter. 251 00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:51,178 There's probably not another one like it in the whole world. 252 00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:53,052 No, no, there isn't. 253 00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:56,058 Darrin could just shoot me for not liking it. 254 00:15:56,260 --> 00:15:59,297 -For not liking it? -Well, I hardly ever wear it. 255 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,138 It's a sore subject with Darrin. 256 00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:03,456 I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it. 257 00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:07,369 -Oh, darling, you can count on me. -Good. 258 00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:10,697 Oh, how stupid of me. 259 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,974 Charlie, you've got to get that mink coat for me. 260 00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:17,772 You have a closet full of those. 261 00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:20,335 But this is made out of the pelts of identical twins. 262 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:24,533 If this coat is so special, honey, well, why doesn't Samantha like it? 263 00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:27,652 Don't be so dense. She knows they can't afford it. 264 00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:29,134 Yeah, but I'd feel funny. 265 00:16:29,340 --> 00:16:31,854 You'd be doing Darrin a favour taking it off his hands. 266 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:34,335 He's probably up to his neck in hock for it. 267 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:35,859 I don't know. 268 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:40,053 If you don't get me that coat I'm gonna have a migraine till 1970. 269 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:45,058 Believe me, I don't feel bad. As a matter of fact, I feel great. 270 00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:48,536 -I finally beat Charlie at something. -You said you lost by 12 strokes. 271 00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:50,139 -Eleven! -Oh, pardon me. 272 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:53,093 But we flipped a coin to see who would tip the caddie, I won. 273 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,895 -It cost me 10 bucks, but I won. -I love you, you nut. 274 00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:00,297 I love-- Oh, come in. 275 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,933 I hope I'm not interrupting. 276 00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:05,496 I just wanted to tell you that you have got another Arnie Palmer here. 277 00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:09,215 -He made a shot-- -I told her. What can we do for you? 278 00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:14,369 Well, we've known each other for a number of years, right, Dar? 279 00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:16,536 -If it's about the job-- -No, it isn't. 280 00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:19,413 -Shall I excuse myself? -No, I want you to stay right here. 281 00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,896 You are a very important part of this. 282 00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:27,777 Dar, my wife wants to buy your wife's mink coat. 283 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:30,258 She's been bugging me since she saw it. 284 00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:32,849 She's gonna make my life miserable for me. 285 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,095 Well, I don't get it, Charlie. What's the joke? 286 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:39,019 -She wants to buy my mink? -That's impossible. 287 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:41,529 I know you're touchy on the subject, Dar, but-- 288 00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:44,698 Why should I be touchy? Sam doesn't own a mink. 289 00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:51,450 -Now I don't get it. -Darrin, could I talk to you? 290 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:54,570 -When? -Now? 291 00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:58,297 - Should I leave? - No. It'll only take a minute. 292 00:17:58,500 --> 00:17:59,979 Excuse us, Charlie. 293 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,738 Sam, what's this all about? 294 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,295 Well-- Oh, Darrin. 295 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,617 Well, you see, Daphne said some very unkind things about you... 296 00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:13,095 ...and about how you were doing. 297 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:17,213 Well, so I just zapped up a mink coat... 298 00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,092 ...and said it was a present from you. 299 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:20,619 That's great. 300 00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:26,778 -I'm sorry. -We'll talk after we get rid of him. 301 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,377 I hope you kids have settled on a price. 302 00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:32,094 -The coat's not for sale. -We're making progress. 303 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:35,497 At least he said that there is a coat. 304 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,294 -Would you consider $5000? -Absolutely not. 305 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:43,016 Oh, I understand. Sentimental value and all. Let's say 6000 then. 306 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:46,493 Charlie, you can't put a price on sentiment. 307 00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:52,252 Now, I know the coat was custom made from pelts of identical twins, so-- 308 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,213 What? Identical mink twins? 309 00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,695 So how about $8500? 310 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,130 Will you cut that out? You haven't seen the coat! 311 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,171 It might have a hole in the pocket! 312 00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:06,968 Dar, Daphne wants it. That's all I have to know. 313 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:09,496 Come on, kids, be realistic. 314 00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:12,658 You certainly can't turn down 12,500. 315 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,215 The answer's no, Charlie. No. 316 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:19,732 Samantha, talk to him. Tell him you don't really even like the coat. 317 00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:25,931 Well, Darrin, what was I to do? 318 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:30,053 Daphne was being so patronizing. She practically called you a loser. 319 00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:33,855 So to prove what a winner I was, you gave yourself a mink coat. 320 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:37,100 Well, I'm sorry, darling. But-- 321 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,734 She could have said anything in the world about me... 322 00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:42,977 ...but I didn't want her to knock you, don't you understand? 323 00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,408 Perfectly. 324 00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:46,975 I'm enough of a breadwinner to provide necessities. 325 00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,296 When it comes to luxuries I wanna give you... 326 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,172 ...I can't compete with witchcraft! 327 00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:55,329 I can't give you anything you can't zap up yourself. 328 00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,897 Oh, Darrin, please let me explain. 329 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:02,819 Explain what? I think everything's all too clear. 330 00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:08,648 Well. 331 00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:13,977 -Hors d'oeuvre? -No, thank you. 332 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,011 Would you care to dance, Daphne? 333 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:20,213 Senator, I know how you loathe vetoes, but I have a crushing migraine. 334 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,376 So sorry. 335 00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:28,218 Hey, Darrin, what's wrong? You seem upset. 336 00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:30,172 Have I done anything to offend you? 337 00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:34,498 No, Charlie. You just helped put things in perspective for me. 338 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:45,136 -Daphne, can I see you for a moment? -Certainly. 339 00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:55,618 You haven't by any chance changed your mind, have you? 340 00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:59,051 Daphne, the coat is yours. 341 00:20:59,260 --> 00:21:01,649 Oh, you don't mean it. 342 00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:04,249 -Charlie! -Please, just between you and me. 343 00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:07,657 -Charlie! Darrin! -Daphne. 344 00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:12,370 Oh, it's beautiful. 345 00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:13,899 What's going on? 346 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:16,216 Don't be too long. She might change her mind. 347 00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:18,411 Charlie will give you a check, Samantha. 348 00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:22,372 Well, Daphne, you don't understand. I'm giving it to you. 349 00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,168 Giving it to me? 350 00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:30,740 Yes. Charlie told me how much you admired it, and I want you to have it. 351 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,575 Well, that is a marvellous coat, Samantha. 352 00:21:33,780 --> 00:21:36,169 This is worth a great deal of money. You can't. 353 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:39,452 Oh, no, Samantha, you can't give away anything this valuable. 354 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,734 Oh, yes, you can, Daphne. 355 00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:46,171 When you value something else a great deal more. 356 00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:50,737 More than this? Oh, you're kidding. 357 00:21:52,340 --> 00:21:54,376 No, I'm not. 358 00:21:55,020 --> 00:21:56,897 I don't think I've ever been as serious... 359 00:21:57,100 --> 00:22:00,649 ...or meant anything as much in my life. 360 00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:08,455 Oh, Sam. 361 00:22:23,060 --> 00:22:25,858 I'll get it, sweetheart. 362 00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:29,099 -Mrs. Stephens? This is for you. -Oh, thank you. 363 00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:30,528 You're welcome. 364 00:22:30,740 --> 00:22:32,059 Who is it, honey? 365 00:22:32,260 --> 00:22:35,172 Oh, it's a package, and by special messenger, no less. 366 00:22:35,380 --> 00:22:38,656 Hey. I haven't forgotten a birthday or an anniversary, have l? 367 00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:42,296 Of course not. I wouldn't let you. 368 00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,456 Well, who's it from? 369 00:22:45,340 --> 00:22:48,491 It's from Daphne and Charlie Harper. 370 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,770 "Dear Samantha, I'm returning the coat. 371 00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:53,778 It would take volumes to explain why, but I have a feeling... 372 00:22:53,980 --> 00:22:55,891 ...I don't need to make an explanation. 373 00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:57,579 I'm certain you'll understand. 374 00:22:57,780 --> 00:23:01,375 Please accept my thanks for giving me a sense of value. Daphne." 375 00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:04,811 Oh, there's a P.S. from Charlie. 376 00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:07,898 "Thanks for giving me a new Daphne. Charlie." 377 00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:10,409 Hey, did we do all that? 378 00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:12,770 You did, sweetheart. 379 00:23:12,980 --> 00:23:15,289 Honey, about this coat-- 380 00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:18,376 Are you sure you don't wanna keep the coat? 381 00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:22,971 Oh, sweetheart, I can zap up mink coats all day long. 382 00:23:23,180 --> 00:23:26,934 But I can never zap up another Darrin Stephens. 383 00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:17,536 Subtitles by SDI Media Group